Research has shown that communicating with clients, internal or external, accounts for 85 percent of the relationship. Yet most professionals spend only about 15 percent of their time developing the vital skills and abilities necessary to do so.
I was given a complimentary copy of a book by Lou Cassara entitled FROM SELLING TO SERVING -- THE ESSENCE OF CLIENT CREATION. Although I am no longer looking for clients, I found the book refreshing and thought provoking.
I have been told that relationship building is one of my strengths, but I am not satisfied with my own performance. I have much to learn and improve, but I do attribute any success I might have had over the years to skills with which I was blessed.
In the rest of this blog, I am both reflecting on my own experience as well as underlining key insights from the book.
Individuals and organizations spend enormous amount of money and time trying to find new clients and customers. However, when they are fortunate to do so, they tend to take the newly developed client/customer for granted.
I learned during my active career as an internal and external consultant that the best clients/customers I had were those I already had, not necessarily those who I might acquire. Why? They knew who I was, the work I had done, and the results I was able to contribute. They were not strangers to me, and I was no stranger to them.
So I devoted a good portion of my time and resources communicating with them ... finding out how they were doing, asking if there was anything they needed from me, probing for issues and problems for which I might be able to be a resource, and so on.
Looking back and reflecting on both the successes and failures in my relationship building efforts, I have concluded that relationships are vital to both our lives and careers.
Relationships, it has been said, are a reflection of the one we have with ourselves. If we are willing to look into ourselves and experience who we really are, we will be more effective in our relationships. If we do not think that we are good enough, competent enough, committed enough, and so on, our customers and clients will pick that up quickly.
I have been told, and I have come to believe, that people are a mirror of themselves and as such they will reflect back to us what they need to learn and change about themselves.
Now, not all relationships are created equal. Here are the three common types:
1. Relationships that require addressing the benefits and features of what we offer to one another -- on the superficial side, you might say.
2. Relationships that require more sustaining action and they call on us to understand the clients' motives and values that drive their behavior.
3. Relationships that are significant where we must understand others' emotional blue-print and core personality driving their behavior.
The type of relationship dictates the amount of time, energy, and commitment required to maintain a relationship that is reciprocally satisfying. However, in all cases, people look and expect to work with someone for whom they have a good feeling.
The more authentic we are, the better are our chances that people will have a good feeling about us. The more caring we are the better the chances are that people will care about us. The more you "get your stuff together", the higher the likelyhood that people will trust you.
When you have a few minutes alone, list the ten relationships that are important to you. Then using the descriptors above, rate each relationship by giving it a 1, 2 or 3. Examine the list again, change your ratings if you want, and look at the final ratings. Do you have work to do? Would you like to see a different rating?
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