Working with Jerks

While waiting for my flight home at the Rome Fiumicino Airport, I went into the airport bookstore to buy a magazine. There was a small book that caught my eye "Lavorare con dei Coglioni ... e riuscire a liberarsene", losely translated as "Working with Jerks ... and succeeding in getting rid of them." The Italian word for jerk is much stronger and it refers to a part of the male human anatomy. The French have a similar word, so do the Spaniards and the Portuguese. I guess Latins have a lot in common when addressing this menace.

The book, turns out, was a translation by Antonella Viale, of "Travaller avec cons" by anonymous. The book is published and copyrighted by Sperling & Kupfer Edizioni. Permission is given to use parts of the book for personal use.

I immediately got ingrossed in the book and I finished reading it before my flight took off for London. The book was right on target on a subject we all think about but rarely discuss it. My first reaction while reading the book was: why did not I think of it? I vowed to do a blog on it.

Jerks exist in all walks of life. It is part of the human condition to have to deal with them. No setting is free of them ... at work, in church, at social gatherings, even in the cherished family circle, you will find one or more jerks.

There are two kinds of jerks.

The first type is evil, mean-spirited, anger-provoking, and often in your face. They are interested in getting ahead at all costs, even if they have to make their colleagues look bad, sabotage their work, or take credit for others' ideas. They often come across as pompous know-it-all, letting you know what and who they know, talking down to you, patronizing others, and by behaving in a most intollerable way.

They are often referred to as bulls-in-a-china-shop; they create havoc by stepping on others' tender feelings. As you read this, I am sure that one or more people will pop up in your head. We are told to cope with them, ignore them, and/or avoid them at all costs. See, they have no idea the damage they create. They are not aware how their behavior hurts those around them. They are volunteer spies and do not think twice about reporting any of your faux pas to the boss. They can insidiously plant rumors, they can embarass you in public with sarcastic remarks. They think they are witty and are the first (and sometime the only ones) to laugh at their own jokes.

The second type are clumsy, inappropriate, and inept, but they do not mean any harm. They are the good jerks. Fortunately, there are more of this type than the former. They make us laugh, we feel sorry for them, we tolerate them and embrace them as our own. We do not want any harm to come their way, and we pray for their well-being. They have a good heart, not a mean bone in their body and soul. They try to help when no help is needed. They volunteer to do anything and everything for others. They interrupt but they do not realize it. They are responsible for all kinds of small disasters through no ill intentions such as jamming the fax machine, using the remaining paper on the copier, entering your office without knocking, spilling coffee on your office desk forcing you into a mad dash to protect your computer and other valuable papers, they are all over the place ... just trying to be helpful.

The Jewish community uses two words to illustrate the problem. "Schlemil" is used to describe the jerk who spills the soup on the patron. "Schlemazol" is used to describe the jerk on whose suit is the soup spilled on. In this context, we are all jerks -- perpetrators and/or victims.

During my long career, I have met many jerks -- some chronic, others free-lance, some mean-spirited, others innocent. None of us are immune to this desease. I too have acted as a jerk in a few situations, to my later embarassment and regret. I am the schlemil-type when I behave like a jerk. I can soil somebody's good suit and ruffle feathers. I thank God for not been chronically afflicted by this condition.

About you? Which type fits you?

If we are to eliminate the jerks in our workplace, we must start by "owning up" to the possibility that we too on occasion or chronically behave like jerks. None of us is perfect, I guess. With a little soul searching we can find ways of freeing the workplace from this affliction. The cure depends on the type of jerk affliction you suffer from. The first type is tough to admit to and harder to change. How about some delicate feedback to our colleagues when they behave as a jerk?