Understanding Perceptions

I just returned from a visit to Kuwait and Bahrain. I had the opportunity to visit with colleagues and friends from my previous alma mater. I must admit that it was a bitter-sweet visit. Sweet it was because I had the opportunity to see my colleagues and friends after I retired nine months ago.

Bitter it was to see, at the Group level, the organizational paralysis generated by the uncertainty about the future of the corporate group once the African assets are transfered to their acquirer. It is quite clear that the Group needs to shrink down and possibly relocate. But who will be retained? Who will be offered a position in the acquirer's organization? Folks seemed rightfully uncertain about their retention, afraid of perceived or real purges that usually follow when there are major changes at the top. In essence, who are the winners and who are the losers in the rearrangement of the boxes?

The visit reminded me of an important lesson I had learned a few years back, earlier in my career. The importance of perceptions in people's decision making. Perceptions are real and they are facts that people use to make decisions. Never mind that they might be inaccurate, they are still facts, albeit erroneous, that people rely on to render their judgments. So, even though perceptions are not always reality, we must beware of their impact. So what you might say?

We are responsible for the perceptions we create and as such we must be alert to what they are and play a responsible role in their shaping. After all, perceptions affect our jobs, our relationships, our future, to a certain extent. Lack of awareness is akin to flying blind. We all know what the risks are of just that.

I recall fondly the advice I received from a dear colleague way back. He said to me that in order to better manage the perceptions I created in others, I needed to know what those perceptions were and take action if they were out-of-alignment with those I expected. How do you do that? You seek feedback first. You let people tell you how you come across, positively and negatively. You accept the feedback that you get as the reality out there, whether supported or not by objective facts. You do not argue with it, you do not discount it, you do not rationalize it. You accept it and take responsibility for having contributed to its reality. Those who choose to do the opposite are vulnerable because they choose to continue flying blind.

There is more to it that soliciting feedback. There is disclosure on our part. That is we need to balance the communication flow with our own perspective, with our heartfelt motives, and with our own sense of humility. If people do not know enough about you, they will fill out the blanks on their own. The better people know you, the more accurate can their perceptions of you can be.

I know that the subject of perceptions is a tough one to digest for those of us who are accustomed to dealing with scientific data. We see perceptions as unfair judgments based on flimsy data, not necessarily backed by facts on the ground. So what? People still have them and use them to make decisions, and to reach conclusions.

Have fun on the learning curve! Nitzche said it well. What does not kill you, makes you stronger. Hemingway said the same thing but in a different context. Life breaks you and makes you stronger in the broken parts. I have found both to be useful pieces of wisdom.