Optimism & Leadership

Last October I attended a one-day conference in Madrid, Spain, sponsored by Grupo-PyA, on whose board I serve.  The conference was held at the Club Financiero, a prestigious venue in the center of the Spanish capital.  Over 100 senior executives attended the conference.

Featured amongt the speakers was my good friend and colleague Bob Sherwin, Chief Operating Officer, Zenger-Folkman, a well-known leadership development firm, with offices and partners in numerous countries.  

The Research

Sherwin shared with the audience some intriguing findings from his firm's research on "Leading with Optimism."  He started his talk by advising the audience to "always borrow money from pessimists ... they don't expect to ever be paid back".  He got a big chuckle from the attentive audience.  He then proceeded to share the three benefits that optimistic leaders bring to the situation:

1. They are more resilient and inspiring in the face of challenges and setbacks.
2. They are problem solvers who try to improve the situations they are in.
3. Behaviors are infectious, and optimistic leaders will spread their optimism.

Tempering these findings, Sherwin went on to raise a flag of caution.  Optimism can be based on unwarranted or warranted confidence.  Optimists are prone to cognitive biases, thereby underestimating dangers and taking unique risks.  

The impact of optimism on leader effectiveness is dramatic, the research shows.  The top 10% in level of optimism translates, according to 360 data, to an overall effectiveness of 89%.  Correspondently, the lower 10% in level of optimism translates into an overall effectiveness of 19%.  That is a significant difference!  

Effectiveness was measured in terms of employee engagement, commitment, productivity, and profitability.  

The presentation went on to show six behaviors employed by optimistic leaders:

1. Seek to find solutions rather than place blame
2. Be open to negative feedback and criticism
3. Make mistakes momentary
4. Accentuate the positive
5. Enhance long term goals
6. Push and pull

Sherwin then shared a Cherokee proverb:  "There is a battle of two wolves inside all of us."

One is Negativity ... it is anger, sadness, stress, contempt, disgust, fear, embarrassment, guilt, shame, and hate. Positivism, the other, ... it is joy, gratitude, serenity, hope, pride, awe, interest, amusement, inspiration, and above all, love.

Which is the wolf that wins?  The one you feed!

My Take Away

Highly effective leaders are more optimist than good or mediocre leaders.  Optimism needs to be balanced with a modicum of realism.  Pessimistic leaders create a climate that is oppressive and unsatisfying.

The Cherokee proverb teaches us that we need to feed the positive "wolf" inside of us, and starve the "negative" wolf inside of us.  This is a lesson that applies to our private lives as well.

I hope you enjoy this post as much I did preparing.  

Labels That Divide Us

Sometime ago while visiting friends in Minneapolis I was invited to attend church services in a downtown church. I had no idea as to what I would find and how I might react to it. It was a lesson that has staid with me since.

The "church" was a shabby hall in an abandoned building in what we used to call skid row. The pastor was a devout man in his mid 30's flanked by his wife and their toddler son. About 35-40 people total were present, mostly folks down on their luck, homeless, some with drug or alcohol problems, and a few "do-gooders" like my hosts. Several must have come, I think, because free coffee and donuts were served after the service.  Some were there because of their abiding faith.

The Sermon

After a short invocation, the young pastor embarked on his sermon.  It was evident from his demeanor that he had much passion for his mission and ministry. He spoke in a pleasant voice and he seemed to elicit interest from his audience.

What he said during his 45 minute talk surprise me. He talked about -isms and how such words ending in -sm had impacted his life often in a negative way. His general point was that any word that ends in -sm often charms us with the positive while hiding its negative elements. He cited as examples socialism, communism, capitalism, and libertarianism. They are terms, he said, that conjure up some utopian benefits while hiding or discounting their downside effects.  

During the service, I was surprised to see come around a basket soliciting donations. Surprised because most people there seemed to be indigent. My admiration for the pastor compelled me to make a meaningful offering. To do otherwise would have been phony.  

The sermon over, most folks quickly gathered around the coffee table, got their cup of coffee and donuts and disappeared into the streets. A few hung around to chat and comment on the inspirational sermon they had heard.

The sermon's warning has stayed with me.

Lesson Learned

Indeed as the good pastor taught us, -sms bombard us daily. Some promise utopian benefits, as the pastor warned us, and others would caution us about their downside. I have come to the conclusion that all -sms are one-sided, that what they reveal is interesting but what they hide vital. I have developed the notion that they represent extreme positions to which there is a wide-pendulum response.

They tend to fall into two buckets that I have labeled, for lack of better words, left and right, words that we use daily to describe one another political leanings. Let me illustrate a bit more what I mean here:

Left                                                                                     Right

Communism                                                                       Capitalism

Socialism                                                                            Individualism

Liberalism                                                                          Conservatism

Existentialism                                                                     Feudalism

Modernism                                                                         Traditionalism

The list is partial. I am sure that you can add to either column other commonly discussed -sms. Passionate advocates from either side espouse the many benefits that come from such -sm while its adversaries point out the many disadvantages associated with that -sm. The dialog alternates from left to right back to left in a continuing wide pendulum swing akin to a grandfather's clock's. Each side of the argument attacks the other as being naive, intolerant, evil or stupid for disagreeing.

Experience teaches us that the right place is often in the middle, capturing the benefits while minimizing the downside, finding that elusive middle ground, and blending the two into a livable and motivating whole. But, as we have been warned, those who ignore experience are bound to repeat the mistakes we have made in the past. 

The dialectic includes much rhetoric and little substance to the human discourse. The outcome is often polarization and enmity.  Two words that conjure up more -sms. Those who choose the middle ground are accused of lacking convictions, of using convenient situational averaging, and not being in touch with the real problems of the common person.  Someone, who we might not admire, referred to those in the middle as the silent majority. I think he was right.  

Questions

Like John Lennon sung in one of his famous songs, I know that I am not alone, that there are others who think a lot like me.  But, can we quit pigeoning or demonizing one another with labels? Can we stop the self-righteous nonsense? I welcome your comments and reflections.   

Organizational Rasputins & Svengalis

It has been four years since I left the workforce and faded into retirement.  As you can imagine, I have had plenty time to reflect on a number of issues and events during a long work journey spanning 50 years.  All this in an attempt to distill my learning and formulate my conclusions.  Why? So that I can share them with the younger generation in the hope that others have an easier path to success than the previous generation.  Younger people often learn by making mistakes -- my hope is that they be new mistakes rather than a repetition of old ones.

During my long career, I had the privilege of working for several organizations.  A handful left an indelible mark on me.  They were great companies with exceptional leaders and with unique internal cultures.  I was one of their employees at their peak, when they could do no wrong, where success shined brightly over them. They had one thing in common -- they were people companies ... not mere product or service providers.   But as the law of gravity teaches us -- what goes up must come down at some point in time.  But why?  The reasons are many:  loss of market focus, errors in strategy, fumbling execution, arrogance, self-absorption, neglect, and so on.  A more insidious reason is the emergence and flourishing of internal Rasputins and/or Svengalis.  

For those not familiar with either term, let me illustrate one of them: Rasputin.  He is indelibly immortalized in 20th century Russian history.  He was an Eastern Orthodox monk who used his spiritual role to gain access to the Empress and win over her confidence and trust.  He used the relationship to manipulate the impressionable Empress for his own benefit and often to the detriment of others, especially those that he saw as potential or real competitors.  He eventually was exposed and died ignominiously as a result.

Organizations, even the best, are not immune to this phenomenon that I have come to call Rasputins and Svengalis.  Clever people use their superior talents to gain access to and eventually manipulate outstanding CEOs and senior managers.  Being at the top, it is said, is lonely -- no peers, no real colleagues.  To fill the gap, CEOs and senior managers must still rely on others for information, counsel, and social interaction.  They select their inner circle from those they have come to admire for their technical expertise, people perceptiveness, unquestioned loyalty, sense of humor and/or intellect.  When someone possesses one or more of these traits, he or she is able to more quickly penetrate the circle and seduce the top person. As part of the inner circle, they wield power that goes beyond their formal role, level of experience, or business acumen.  

Most members of the inner circle use this power positively and to the benefit of the organization.  A few, however, use it to fulfill other needs ... of the devious kind.  They are interested in solidifying their unique position and to eliminate real or perceived threats.  They cleverly work on shaving down others' credibility, impugning their motives, trivializing their capabilities and accomplishments.  They work to erode others' stature in the eyes of the CEOs or senior managers so that their own profile can stand taller and stronger.  One of the consequences of this treachery is executive isolation.  The other is manipulation.

Rasputins and Svengalis come in all kinds of forms and gender ... they might be ex-college buddies, top-notch technical folks, accomplished consultants, sport partners, etc.  They are as good as any chameleon and are able to disguise their real motives and hidden agendas.  The effect on the organization is devastating.  The very fabric that has brought success begins to fade and come apart at the edges.  Trust level begins to decline.  Communication becomes randomized and perfunctory.  Fear of reprisal looms heavy in people's mind.  Organizational energy starts to dissipate away from the customer to internal politics and posturing.  Opportunities are missed, threats minimized, weaknesses hidden, and strengths weathered away.

You might say that this is just a theory.  And you might be right at that.  But I have accumulated too many critical incidents over the past 50 years to ignore this phenomenon.  Let me share one glaring example.

A Risputin in one of the top companies in which I had the privilege to work managed to capture the attention and gain the emotional intimacy of the CEO.  There was nothing that this man did not know or was not good at in the eyes of the CEO.  He was the only one who could solve looming profitability challenges that required drastic management action and strategic reassessment.  Only his viewpoint counted.  It was foolhardy for others to question his recommendations.  He saw to it that those who were not in line with his thinking would be branded as not loyal team players and too invested in the status quo.  Deadly labels during tough times in any organization.  They could be the first faced with elimination.  

To conclude this example, this Rasputin convinced the CEO that there was only one way to come out a winner out of this managerial conundrum of increasing market share while drastically reducing operating margins.  The board was dissatisfied with the profitability level.  He convinced the CEO that salvation would be possible only if the organization outsourced as much as possible.  No one raised his or her hand to question this strategy!  Soon he singlehandedly, with the help of chosen claques and mini-Rasputins, began to outsource internal activities and processes to providers that (1) did not know how to do it better, and (2) who charged more for the service than what the organization was spending.  His view was that there were no competent external partners and that the organization needed to develop their own.  Result?  Things got much worse.  Board pressured the CEO out.  Company lost its momentum and went into a defensive retreat in which many years later is still mired.  By the way, the now ex-CEO still believes that this Rasputin can do no wrong.  

The signs were there for all to see.  Rasputin had a checkered business background.  He had some success managing a green field operation in a friendly market place with unlimited resources at his disposal.  He had no prior successful experience helping a grey field operation regain profitability and market dominance,  His foray into launching a start-up was a total failure that ended up in bankruptcy, of course, he would maintain to no fault of his own.  

It has been said that it takes a lot of work to screw up perfectly good companies.  I agree.  To speed up the process ... just bring in a few Rasputins.   The management literature is full of examples.  To name a few: Hewlett Packard, Digital Equipment, Sun Microsystems, Xerox, Memorex, Fairchild Semiconductor, etc.

I am sure that you can add to the list above ....

Sicily and its many secrets ...

I just returned from a five-week visit to Sicily, where I was born.  On my flight from Palermo to Rome, an article in the airline magazine Ulisse caught my attention.  It chronicled the history and special gifts of Djerba, the bewitching tiny island-oasis, off the Tunisian Coast.  The island was immortalized in Homer's Odyssey.  In mythology, the Greeks believed that it was occupied by the Lotus people who offered Ulysses a local fruit that had the power to make men forget ... their country, their home, their loved ones.  In reality, the fruit was the Barbary jujube, which yields an inebriating juice, and not the classical lotus fruit.  Many still believe that persimmons have similar qualities to the jujube.  

As I was reading the article, my mind began to wonder off.  I started to savor the five weeks I had spent in the island.  My stay was enriched by several guests who visited me there.  Together we explored parts of the island that are not known to the typical tourist visiting the island.  

In one special case, I guided two Italo-Americans friends and their spouses to the home town of one of their ancestors.  Nestled in the rugged Nebrodi mountains, we visited Tortorici, where we met four of their cousins along with their families (about 22 in total).  I was touched by the warmth, love-filled reunion, and the superb banquet that followed to celebrate the reunion.  They say that blood is thicker than water.  I witnessed the power of this proverb first hand.  What a marvelous spectacle!

In another special case, I led a two car caravan with 6 American friends through the back roads of Sicily to Vallelunga to visit the Regaleali winery.  I had wanted to visit it for several years but timing was always off.  This time, thanks to the fact that all my guests loved wine tasting, I led the journey there.  

The winery is owned by the Conte Tasca d'Almerita, a noble family from Palermo (no direct relatives of mine).  I had corresponded with the Contessa Anna Tasca Lanza about 15 years ago.  She had established a well-known cooking school on the property.  I had read with interest two of her cook books.  The Countess had invited me to visit the winery, but to my chagrin I did not have enough time to do so.  She died a few years ago.  Her daughter Fabrizia now runs the school.  

Conte Tasca bought the ranch in 1830 along with the nobility title from a Spanish aristocrat.  After WWII, Conte Giuseppe Tasca (curiously, my father shared his first name in addition to his last name) embarked on the transformation of the property to wine production.  The winery now produces 3 million bottles of wine each year.  Sixty percent is consumed in Italy and the balance is exported all over the world. Sadly Count Giuseppe died in 1998 (curiously, my father also died that year). The winery is now run by Count Lucio Tasca and his two sons.  The winery employs 90 people year around, more for seasonal work.  

The local staff took us on a guided tour of the winery, culminating with an elaborate tasting session.  Unfortunately, I am not a wine drinker, so while my friends indulged, I spent my time taking photographs of the winery's interesting setting.  We ended our visit with a shopping spree at the winery's well equipped store.  For all of us, it was a fun filled and memorable day indeed!

Sicily is an ancient land.  It has been inhabited for 12,000 years, first by primitive people, later colonized by people from the Iberian peninsula (Sicani), The Italian peninsula (Sikels), the Levant (Phoenicians), the Aegean (Greeks), and North Africa (Carthagenians), and much later occupied by Roman, Arab, Norman, French, German, Austrian, Spanish and Italian conquerors.   So the island abounds of many myths.  

Ancient Greeks believed that the god of wind Aeolos lived in a nearby archipelago where the god of fire Vulcan had his forge.  Neptune, the ill-tempered god of the seas, often visited the island. Greeks also believed that one-eyed Cyclops inhabited the area close to the giant Etna.  Mother Earth (Demeter) lived in the island.  Persephone was born from the union between Demeter and Zeus -- half human and half divine.  Today, people believe that the cherry tomatoes of Pachino have special curative properties. 

The island is blessed with great weather most of the year, and it is beautifully landscaped with olive orchards, citrus groves, grapes fields, and an abundance of fruit trees.  The rugged North is balanced by Southern plains, and the green costal areas are offset by the arid interior.  Mount Etna rises to almost 14,000 feet and it is snow-capped year around.  To the surprise of most tourists, Sicily boasts of some great ski areas during the winter months.

The aromas of the Mediterranean are everywhere to be enjoyed.  Being an island, Sicily is blessed with a variety of fish of unequal quality and taste, and a large variety of fresh vegetables and fruits .  Its cuisine has two parallel styles.  The cucina povera (the poor man's cuisine) is my favorite with many vegetable dishes and unique pasta dishes.  The baronial cuisine (the cuisine of the nobility) traces its origins to the importation of French chefs during feudal times.  The presence of butter and cream is noticeable in many baronial dishes.

If your time permits, I invite you to explore this website of my home town that I helped create:  www.castelditusa.com

10 ways to drive people away from your organization

It has been some time since my last posting.  Busy enjoying my semi retirement.  Nothing of real value to report.

This morning I read with interest a posting by Mel Kleiman in the on-line group The Business of HR.  It motivated me to write this posting.  

Let me start by agreeing with Mel's conclusions.  He does a great job of organizing the major causes that drive away the better talent in an organization.  These causes do not necessarily drive away the average talent.

The list is in reverse order of its importance:

10.  Treat everyone equally.
9.    Tolerate mediocrity.
8.    Have dumb rules.
7.    Do not recognize outstanding performance.
6.    Do not have any fun at work.
5.    Do not keep your people engaged.
4.    Micromanage.
3.    Do not have a retention strategy.
2.    Do not conduct retention interviews.
1.    Make on-boarding a tedium.

I am sure that you have your own list, but Mel's list rings many bells with me.  Here are some HR practices that give face validity to his findings:

1.  Companies implement employee programs designed to treat everyone equally, when we know for a fact that no two people are like, performance and capability-wise.

2.  Salary surveys are used often as a tool to pay the market rate, to go along with everyone else rather than finding more motivating ways to reward top performers.

3.  Promotions are based not necessarily on merit, but on longevity and political connections.

4.  Assignments made, willy-nilly, without adequate attention to individual interests and capabilities.

5.  Policies that are not only dumb but laughable.  Soon the become irritants and de-motivators.

This list is not complete.  I know that you will find many, and probably more appropriate examples, to illustrate the issue.

Compensation and Benefit Design

Published by FT Press in January 2013, this book is available on Amazon.  It is a must-read for the HR professional interested in learning how to apply finance and accounting principles to global human resources management systems.  The author is my good friend and colleague Bashker Biswas.

Because I have known Bashker for over 40 years, I was given the honor of writing the Foreword.  In the book, he shares with us his vast knowledge and experience in total rewards program design.  

As I have written before in my blog, there is art (soft) and science (hard) to effective human resources management.  The art part is "sexier" and, as a result, more seductive.  The science part is more difficult and riskier.

I have seen larger organizations outsource compensation and benefit design to outside experts in well known consulting firms, while retaining the responsibility for its implementation.  One way people justify this choice is that the external consultant is more objective and perhaps more skilled.  As a result, most organizations have limited internal capacity to do the design work.  

The book is an antidote to this problem. It guides you through a variety of design considerations, issues, and alternatives.  It makes you more knowledgeable of a complex and demanding function.  It is also a great resource to go-to to find answer to specific issues that might hinder implementation.

A quick review of the contents follows to spur along your appetite.  You will find specific chapters on:

• Business, Financial, and HR Planning
• Projecting Base Compensation Costs
• Incentive Compensation
• Shared-Based Compensation Plans
• International and Expatriate Compensation
• Sales Compensation Accounting
• Employee Benefit Accounting
• Healthcare Benefits Cost Management
• The Accounting and Financing of Retirement Plans
• Human Resources Analytics
• Human Resource Accounting

Compensation and benefit expenses are often the largest individual line item.  Research as taught us that often it represents anywhere from 20 to 60% of gross revenue.  In the service sector the range is on the upper side. Yet most HR professionals often lack the working knowledge of how their activities can add value to the cost management process. 

In search for relevancy, HR professionals, with the aid of academics, have been playing word-games. The title in vogue for the past 10 years is business partner.  This term gives the illusion of equal footing to the HR professional in his/her interaction with line management.  Reality is that line managers are quick to recognize his/her lack of sound preparation and application of the management discipline.  Becoming fluent in compensation and benefit design, in my view, can be key to career advancement.

Life Planning -- One More Time

BACKGROUND

Two years ago I wrote a short blog on the subject.  The subject continues to occupy a significant amount of space in my thinking. Why?  Perhaps, it has to do with the worldwide crisis.  Perhaps, I see one too many cases where lack of it contributed to unnecessary meandering or resulted in getting stuck in a sort of circumstances cul de sac.  The driving force for pushing this subject further is fueled by my helpful intentions.

In my earlier blog, I did not offer an how to solution.  This time I will try.  Hopefully with better results.  In the early years of my OD practice, I facilitated 3-day residential career development workshops for upcoming executives every 6-7 weeks.  After 10 such workshops, I noticed a glaring hole in my approach.  I was helping these executives to focus on an important, albeit, incomplete part of their life.  To remedy this, I expanded the workshop design by one day.  On the fourth day, I asked participants to invite their spouses or significant others to join our laboratory for the purpose of sharing the work product and getting understanding and support from the so-called better half.

I was not prepared for what transpired.  Although successful and upcoming, the majority of the participants had a darker and hidden side.  Their spouses/partners were isolated and to a certain extent despondent.  Much alcohol and drug abuse came to the surface.  Complaints centered around the  inability to communicate and, in some cases, sheer avoidance to discuss important life impacting choices.  The often repeated rationalization centered around the fact that the great majority of these upcoming executives were engineers, and the inane excuse was that engineers are not necessarily good at the soft part of the human interaction process.

During the past 40 years, I have coached and counseled many executives.  I have been most helpful when I have been instrumental in expanding the discussion from career matters to life matters, where I have convinced my clients of the importance to bring their spouses/significant others into this critical and often ignored conversation.  It is much more productive focusing on our whole life than honing any of its components.  After all, the parts have to fit together!

Wisdom from Yogi Berra

For those who do not know who Yogi Berra is, a quick introduction might help.  Yogi was a well known New York Yanks professional baseball player during the 40's and 50's.  He was known, not just for his great athletic achievements, but also for his convoluted way of speaking.  It is the latter that has made him an icon ... to the delight of those who often invoke his name.

My favorite quote from Yogi, commenting on the importance of planning is: "If you do not know where you are going, you are bound to get there!"  That is exactly the message from this blog.  If you do not engage in life planning, you are bound to find yourself a ship without a rudder.  

THE MISSING LINK

From our early years, we are encouraged to plan our academic journey, to select a path that might lead us to a satisfying and rewarding career.  In college, we are exhorted to start our career planning by charting development actions we need to implement during our professional journey so that we might achieve  satisfying and rewarding career milestones.  Later on, we are encouraged to start planning for our future financial needs.  So planning is not a new activity for us.  It is something we have been taught to do since early childhood.  

The lesson learned from planning is that what is important is not the plan itself, but the planning process -- the rumination that sorts and illuminates our thinking.  The latter is more fluid and more apt to change, and fine tuning; the latter, unchecked, has the ability to turn itself into a straight jacket that can crimp our styles and regiment our lives beyond the desirable.  

It is my strong belief that life planning is a missing link.

The late Steven Covey encouraged us to "... always start with the end in mind."  That is precisely my point.  Career plans must be directed toward a higher goal than just trying to climb the career ladder; they have to have a rationale behind.  Financial planning also must meet some need beyond a monetary measure.  After all, financial security can be (although it is not always) a means toward a better life.

The sweet spot, in my thinking, rests on the three planning activities linked together to form a whole integrated plan -- our life plan.   The three parts not only must support one another, but to a certain degree relate to one another.  

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Like all other forms of planning, it starts with a vision of the "end in mind".   Here are some data collection questions that might help the construction of your personal mosaic.  There are no right or wrong answers per se, but the answers must fit and support the overall plan.  

1.  What is the most desirable state for you?  What are the values that drive your actions?  What are your priorities, and how are they established?   Money, status, health, desire to help others, family, etc.?  Can you answer these critical questions in one to two pages?

2.  Can you describe in one to two pages the ideal day in your life?  What is going on?  Where are you?  Who are you with?  What are you doing?  How are you feeling?  

3.  Can you write in one or two paragraphs your own epitaph?   What do you want to be remember for?  What do you want people to say about you after your demise?  What others will miss most after you have signed off?  Who would you ask to deliver your epitaph at your funeral?  Why did you select that person?

4.  Can you rank order the top 3 priorities in your life?  Choose from the following but feel free to add to the list, if you wish: family, leisure time, health, financial security, travel, philanthropy, location, religion .... 

5.  What are your gifts, talents, and skill set?  Brag about yourself!  No one is looking over your shoulder, except yourself.  

This whole process might take one to two days, spread over several weeks.  By answering diligently and sincerely the questions I suggest above, you will complete your data collection steps.  Now you need to go to the next step.  So what?  What does all this mean to you?  What do you wish to take away from the process?  

Now, you have the opportunity to translate these data points into something more specific about your life.  You can define more clearly your own success criteria.  For example.  If you peruse your ideal day and circle those things that you don't already have, you will have isolated those life goals that are implicit or hidden.  If you examine your epitaph, you will also identify things that are very dear to you, things that give meaning to your life.  If you review your list of gifts, talents, and skills, you will realize what your core capability is and hopefully stick with what you are best at rather than wandering into problematic areas.

You can now determine who else should be involved in your planning process e.g., your spouse, partner, children, friends, etc.  Children, depending on their age, can contribute to certain elements, such as to where they would like to live and why. 

By now, you should be clearer about the criteria you need to use when making important life choices, because you have examined in depth your end in mind.  

During the process, you might be overwhelmed by all the data in front of you.  This is normal! Take it easy!  Take your time! Ponder it! Distill it!  Put it to good use!

CLOSING

I was first exposed to life planning one cold February 42 years ago by a trusted professor.  At first I approached it skeptically, not being convinced that we can actually plan our lives, aware that too many variables are outside our control, and that being at the right time and at the right place was what counted.  Then, I realized that I might want to have a role in picking the right time and the right place.

Soon I began to make decisions with more confidence.  Three years later I engaged my wife in the process by suggesting we do a life plan together.  At first, Cassandra was not sure about it and asked what was the catch, but she was willing to try it.  At one point, we asked our daughter Thalia to tell us where she would like to live.  We were living in Minnesota at that time.  She was 12 years old!  She readily admitted that she wanted to return to Palo Alto, California because her maternal grandparents lived there.   

I was anxious to leave Control Data and I had opportunities in Michigan, Baltimore and Belgium.  We chose instead to return to Palo Alto because of Thalia's want.  There I started my first consulting company.  Although I had never done independent consulting work, I was optimistic about my chances for succeed because I was making an informed decision.  The plan gave me the confidence I needed to enter an unknown field as an unknown.  

Every year since then, around Christmas, Cassandra and I review our summary plan by answering a simple question:  How is it going?  The answer to this question guides us toward some adjustments.  We do not always agree on what and when to make these adjustments but we have a framework to work through the issues.  

I still have my struggles, my challenges, and my blind-sposts.  I know now how to reset my confidence button, by going back to the fundamental life planning questions.

Life planning is not a panacea, just a means to an end ... you define what that is!